The Lil' Ladies

WARNING: this post is going to be a mess. Thank you for your patience :)
Although my girls will always be my little babies, they are growing up so fast. 19 MONTHS!!! They are turning into little toddlers more and more each day. They are walking, running, talking (only to each other) and exploring everything. It is still my favorite thing to just sit back and watch them. They truly are the best entertainment. They are so full of personality and kind of weird (in a good way). When I say they are only talking to each other I mean talking in their own language. It sounds like Japanese and I swear they know exactly what the other is saying. Their facial expressions just add to the mix. Kyla sticks out her lips and is very serious, and Mya crinkles her nose as if saying "huh?" all the time. I am so afraid that one day the words are going to start spilling out and they will loose this language. I know this is probably what will happen, and when I least expect it. Even though it may make things easier when they can tell me what they need, but I am SO going to miss hearing them jabber.
They understand just about everything, and are the best little helpers. They can find the tiniest little speck on the carpet, and run over to hand it to you. They love to clean themselves and the table when they are done eating as well as everything else. You give them a damp rag and they will go to town. Even though Mya started out bullying Kyla, she is now such a sweet heart. She brings her sister toys, her blanket, or a book to read. She still wants everything Kyla has, but we are working on waiting her turn. This is not going well because Kyla gives it up so easily. They are beginning to play with each other and love to wrestle.
They love books!! When we are home they read books just as much or more than they play with their toys. They love books with pictures of babies or cookies in them. They love to give the babies kisses and pretend to eat the cookies.
Kyla loves to play dress-up. It doesn't matter if it a coat, my shirt, or a towel she drapes it over her and prances around. They both love to put things on their heads. They will not keep a head band on when I put it on them, but if they find one and do it themselves it stays on for a while. They also looooove bracelets and chapstick.
I almost forgot!! HALLOWEEN!! Drew and I were Bonnie and Clyde and our girls were our bags of money. It turned out awesome and the girls did pretty good with their costumes. They did not like the hats, but they didn't mind the stuffed pillow case. We went to only 3 houses due to weather and ringing the doorbell was the highlight. It was a lot of fun!!
Everyday is an adventure and brings something new. They are so much fun and continue to melt my heart. I will try to add more and keep up to date.

Catch up, once again

I have decided that being "up to date" on a blog is a very difficult task. That is why I am constantly playing catch up. So here it is. In the last couple of months there has definitely been tears shed, scary moments, laughter, messes, and lots of smiles. One of the scares occurred in May with Miss Kyla. As you may know, she had some intestinal issues at birth. So I have always been very wary and aware of her bowels and stomach aches. One night she was acting very uncomfortable and had not pooped all day (which is not like her). She was also not eating and there was nothing I could do to comfort her. I was sitting there holding and trying to soothe her when she puked everywhere, projectile style. It was heartbreaking as a mother to see my little girl in such discomfort. The first sign and concern was the smell and color of the vomit. It was pretty rank so I will not go into much detail. The second concern was she was not stopping. In only about 10 minutes she had already thrown up 3 times. I just knew something was wrong, so we strapped her in as gently as possible and headed up to the University of Utah. When we arrived she had thrown up many more times in the car. When we finally got her in they hooked her up to an IV to restore her hydration, then transferred her over to Primary's Children's Hospital. We should have gone there from the very beginning, but I did not think they had an emergency room. There we sat for hours with multiple doctors coming in and out. With her history they were concerned there was an abnormality or some sort of blockage. They performed many x-rays and cat scans on her. This was the hardest part for me. We have been through a lot, and have been to that hospital way too many times. However, before we just sat back and were not involved. This time I had to be in the room, holding her down to get the proper angles and shots. Looking back now, I should have walked out and told them I did not want to do it. I should have been the one comforting her. Not the one doing it to her. It was absolutely horrible. There is really no other way to describe it. In the end, she was okay. They cleaned her out, and we only had to stay one night. Now she is on some medicine (laxative) to help prevent any future back ups.
They are both enjoying the warm weather and love to go over to Grandma Tammy's and swim. I left them in the pool with Uncle Jeremy and Grandpa for one second, and when I got back they had both been dunked. I was a little nervous to do it, but they handled it well. They also love to play on the grass and did some pretty great paintings for Father's Day. I will post some pictures soon.
The biggest news is....da da da da...Mya took 4 steps yesterday!!! I am preparing myself for my world to be flipped upside down. It is not going to be long now. Today, Kyla stood up by herself. They can stand up and balance for a while if I help them up, but Kyla got up from her butt not holding onto anything. It was adorable. She does this squat thing that is so damn cute.
They are getting cuter and funnier by the day. They sit and talk to each other with their noses almost touching. They can sit there and have like a 30 minute conversation. I will try to post a video soon. They love to dance, and I think they got my moves. They are just hilarious. It is so hard to describe, but they are so funny. Everything they do has me cracking up. Just their facial expressions and the way they do things. Ask anyone. They entertain themselves and me. I just sit back and watch them all day. My life is wonderful!!

TANTRUMS, BOOKS, PICKLES, AND CAT FIGHTS GALLORE

Mya and Kyla are continuing to surprise me every day. Mya has officially made it up a flight of stairs, and back down by herself. Kyla now points to things she wants. The funniest (and stressful) thing about them lately is the fights they get into. It is normally over a toy such as tupperware or a favorite book. Mya is the instigator, and will take EVERYTHING from Kyla. Kyla is pretty easy going and will normally find something else to play with. However, she is getting smarter and has learned to put the toy behind her back so Mya cannot get it. This sets her off and get ready for a fit. Mya flops herself to the ground, sometimes face first (blood has been shed) and literally starts flopping like a fish and screaming. It is crazy to me that this has come so natural to her, and I do not know what to do besides ignore her and not give in. They can be so mean to each other one minute, and so sweet the next. They grab at each other clothes and pull each other hard, straight down to the floor. Then they are later giving each other kisses and laughing. A day with twins is full of the unexpected. Mya has learned to read books (not literally), but she gets a book and flips through each individual page and jabbers. Yes, the book is sometimes upside down, but it is the cutest thing ever none the less.

She is also really into putting smaller things into big things, then getting them all out and putting them back again. I have a feeling she is going to be my big helper when it is time to clean up. The both love dill pickles, and could eat them all day. They also love tapioca and scrambled eggs. They love to chase each other and climb over anything and everything. If there is a straight road to their destination, they will choose the one with obstacles. I am having so much fun with them, even though it can be stressful at times. Who wouldn’t have a great day when you wake up to your two kids talking and laughing with each other in their cribs?

PARTY!!

The girl’s first birthday theme was influenced by Dr. Seuss’s “Cat In The Hat.” Mya was ‘Thing One’ and Kyla was ‘Thing Two.’ To decide who should be which, we went off who was first born. Then when they got older they could not fight over it, it was solely based on who came out first. When you are a parent of twins, you have to think ahead like that. I can imagine it now, “Mom, why was Mya ‘Thing One?’” And now I have an answer. Now, back to the party. It was mainly immediate family other than their godparents. My sister, Tasha, did an AMAZING job with the decorations. I really think she should go into party planning and décor. It was beautiful. To see pictures go to her link http://www.flickr.com/photos/tmw715/sets/72157623761814811/.

The girls wore homemade onesies, tutus, and crowns (that didn’t stay on their heads long) all made by my sister. Mya had a big black eye from the fire place, but I thought it added a little flavor and will always be a memory. The food was great and I hope everyone had a good time. The girls got so many presents it was like Christmas all over again. They got toys, a video camera (that one was kind of for us, but to film them), life jackets, clothes, shoes, books, gift cards, pictures, dolls, and the list could go on. We are so thankful for everything and it will all go to good use. The girls loved their cupcakes, and it made a big mess of course. They both have had some practice with this during the photo shoot before, so they knew what to do and dove right in. This was the first family party I have ever had at my house, and it was pretty stressful. I think everything went well, and hope to do something like it next year!

Sorry this is so short and so postponed. I have been super busy and consumed with everything going on in my life right now. I just wanted to get something up, and maybe I will add to it later.

First Gift on Their First B-Day

So sadly, Mya's and Kyla's big day was not so big. Since it fell on a Thursday we decided to have the party this weekend. So that is going to be the big sha-bang. All we did was went to the doctors, and then the girls came to my volleyball games. They did receive one present (besides the balloons aunt heather brought them). I am so proud to announce the girls got the gift of a Godmother. When they were born they already had two Godfathers picked out, Drew's two best friends Kyle and Jake. It was no question. When it came to a Godmother for them, I drew a blank. All of my friends have always been mostly guys, and I slowly grew apart from the few girlfriends I had. Heather has always been in the picture, but since I found out I was pregnant we sort of lost touch for a while too. Ever since they were born she has been there though. Especially lately. We go on our little "dates" at least once a week (which I know is mainly because she wants to see the girls), and we play volleyball together every week. These past few weeks I have seen her love for my girls grow and it touches my heart. I know she would do anything for them and will always be there. I could not think of anyone else I would want to be both of my girls Godmother, and Heather we are so lucky to have you in our lives. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. You have always been there for me even through the worst of times. I know you will show my girls the same support and love. I am so grateful that we have reconnected, and you will always be a part of our lives now, whether you like it or not, we are tied.

The Past Year

This blog is going to be a big one. My goal is to get everything, emotions included, written down that has happened in the past year. To some, maybe all, this might be a little boring. I have decided that this blog is more for the girls though. I want to share it with anyone that is interested, but the main point of this is to have our memories documented. I hope one day Mya and Kyla will be able to read this and connect with their mom and dad. Also, of course know about their childhood. I am horrible at keeping a journal consistently, and then you also run into the risk of losing it. I cross my fingers that if for some reason I lose my work on my computer (I have learned to back it up-thank you thief) that it might still be floating around the internet in twenty years. If not, I still feel this is my safest bet. So again, I am writing this for my family. I worry way too much what others think, so I have debated even starting a blog. I get nervous that people will judge my post or think I am blabbing on and on about nothing, but I need to remind myself that this is TRULY for my family. If you want to read it, great. If not, that is great too. I do not want this to come across as bitchy, but I just needed to get that off of my chest. Now I can begin to tell our story how I want to tell it. Without the worry, without the pressure.
I want to start off by saying that I believe with all of my heart and soul that I was born to be a mother. This may sound a little cliché (especially since I live in Utah), but it is the greatest thing in my life. They are the reason I wake up the morning, go to school, eat three meals a day, and want recovery. I honestly believe they saved my life. I do not know where I would be without them. So I want to thank them, and of course Drew. I will get back to him later though.

FIRST YEAR IN A NUTSHELL

I remember the first time looking at them. I could not see them very well because they were both in incubators and had a lot of tubes covering them. They wheeled me in (still in a bed) between them. It was so hard not to hold them, but I knew it was impossible. I tried to hold their hands as best as possible, but like I said it was difficult with all of the equipment. About an hour after they were born, Kyla was transferred over to Primary’s. It was really hard to have them apart and manage my time between the two. Luckily the two hospitals were connected by a very long hallway, but it gave me hell the first couple of weeks. I was like an old woman using a wheel chair literally as my walker. I swear sometimes it took me 30 minutes to get to the other end when it took me only 5 minutes normally. Recovery was hard, but I made that walk every single day, more than once.





FIRST TIME HOLDING THEM

We got to hold Mya when she was two days old. At first I was so worried about pulling or touching the wrong tube it was hard to relax and enjoy the moment. The nurses assured me everything was okay, and showed me the best way to manage the cords. Because she was born so early she slept a lot. The first time I got a glimpse of her eyes I think was when she was a few days old. She barely cracked one open long enough for her to see me then she was out again. She also smiled a lot in her sleep. It was the cutest little crooked smile. She still does it to this day and it still makes me melt every time.



We finally got to hold Kyla when she was about a week old. I don’t know if you would even call it holding. I got to pick her up, then set her right back down.


The next day I got to HOLD her though. She was so much smaller than Mya, and had SO many more tubes. So you could imagine my panic. The nurses had to assist me, of course, and would put her in a position that would be the least likely to jeopardize anything. They both loved skin-to-skin time, and I would do it as much and as long as I was allowed. Even Dad would strip down (only his shirt) and snuggle them up to his hairy chest. Unfortunately with Kyla this was never long because her temperature would start to drop so she had to be put back in the incubator. This was true for Mya too, but she could keep her temperature up for a little bit longer. When Kyla was finally able to eat, many of her tubes and IVs were taken out. It was a completely new experience holding her, and just her. I felt so close to her at that moment.



FIRST FEEDING:

I remember the first time feeding Mya. She was about two weeks old and it was the scariest thing I have ever done. Prior to this she had been getting milk from a feeding tube. This continued until she could handle all of her feedings. When your baby is born premature they do not know how to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time. So I was basically in charge and had to do it for her. That is a lot of pressure!! The position we had to hold her in was a little awkward at first, but soon became all we knew. I am sure you all have a picture in your head how you hold a baby when you feed them. Cuddle them close and basically cradle them. With our girls we had to hold them parallel with our leg, their butts pushed up against our belly, and their heads out towards our knee. They had to be on their sides so any milk they could not handle would trickle out their mouths. We could only fill the nipple of the bottle half way (very important), and had to watch her swallows and pull back at the right moment. After a couple of sucks, we pulled back to allow her time to swallow and breathe. This may sound simple (sort of), but I am telling you it was not! It was hard and terrifying to master. Sometimes they would stop breathing and multiple alarms would go off. By that time I was bawling and feeling like a horrible mother because I could not feed my own child. The nurses were great and helped us emotionally and physically. By the time Kyla was able to eat (she was 6 weeks old the poor girl) we had it down. Because her intestine was not attached to her stomach when she was born she had to receive all of her nutrients through multiple (and I mean multiple) IVs. After her surgery (she was 4 weeks old) she still had to wait two more weeks. When the big day finally arrived, Dad was lucky enough to be able to give her her first taste. It was less than a suck of milk, but boy did she suck it. We had to feed her the same way as Mya. It was still very scary and loud from alarms. She flew through the next two weeks and got to come home!!!

KYLA’S SURGERY

We found out that Kyla had duodenal atresia when I was 24 weeks along. Thanks to modern technology they could diagnose it through ultra sounds. I am so thankful for this because we had plenty of time to prepare and transfer hospitals. Duodenal atresia is when the upper part of the intestine is not attached to the stomach. We were unsure of the severity, and would only know when she was actually opened up. The plan was for her to have the surgery pretty much immediately after she was born. Unfortunately, since she was so little they thought it would be too risky. Ideally they wanted her to be at least 5 pounds, so we had to wait. Because the intestine was not attached to her belly if she did eat it would not have anywhere to go but back up. It was so hard to see her so sad. She had to have been so hungry and uncomfortable. The nurses posted a sign on her incubator saying, “Please don’t disturb me if I am content. I cannot eat and am very sad about it.” This helped because I swear every time she was peaceful the doctors would come around and poke and prod her. It was heart breaking, but she was in good hands. She didn’t quite make it to 5 pounds before surgery, but they decided to go ahead and do it. When they opened her up they found some more problems. She also had a malrotation. I am still a little confused on what it is exactly, but basically things were not in the right place because they did not rotate in utero. So she now does not have an appendix. They took it out to prevent any future confusion. The surgery went great, and it was just a waiting game after that. When the fluid from her belly cleared up, that meant the bile was passing through and she could finally eat!! I have never been so excited about a poopy diaper than I was the day Kyla took her first one. It was a celebration!!

HOSPITAL VISITS

Every time we went to see our girls we had to scrub down. Wash up to our elbows with scruffy-sponge type things, clean under the nails, all jewelry off, and top it off with hand sanitizer. This was the routine and my nails looked wonderful, but my skin was SO dry. Only two visitors were allowed in at time, and at the University (where Mya was) me or Drew had to be one of them. At Primary’s (Kyla) only two visitors at a time as well, but grandparents could go in without us. I felt safe at the hospital because they were both hooked up to so many monitors. So if their levels even dropped a little bit an alarm would sound. At first when you heard that ringing it was instant panic. After a while, you learned how to read the huge monitor displaying all of their information and knew when it was a real emergency. Luckily they did not have many of these. Like I mentioned earlier, they could not be held the whole time. So I spent a lot of time just sitting by their side and talking to them. I read a lot books and just stared at them. They were so beautiful and there was no other place I wanted to be. When Mya came home it was really hard to juggle being with her and up at the hospital with Kyla. Most of the time Drew and I took turns. He would go up one night, and then I would go up the next night. That was a really hard month. I am so grateful for all of the grandparents and family for their help and support. They would go be with Kyla or watch Mya so I could go see my other little girl. I could not have done it without our families. It was such a relief when they were both home, in the same room. Our family finally came together on June 7, 2009.

REUNITED:

I will never forget when we finally had them both home. Drew and I went and got Kyla while Grandma Jamie and GG (Great-Gram Bun) watched Mya. We put them in the same outfit (a perfect pair onesies made by Aunt Tasha) and laid them in the crib next to each other. They had not been (or even close to) each other for 8 weeks. Almost instantly they both turned their entire bodies into one another. It was like a magnetic connection and warmed my heart. I know they knew and remembered one another. They love each other so much. It was so nice to be able to hold them both at the same time. Best day ever!





HOME LIFE

Having two babies is hard work. I figure I am lucky because I do not have anything to compare it to. So I do not know any different, and quite frankly, it is hard (and weird) to imagine just having one. For the first couple of months all we did was “babies”. After one was fed, then I had to feed the other. Then change one, change the other. I think you get the picture. I swear after I got done feeding them, I swear it was time to do it again. It was nonstop. I had to do everything separate with each of them because they each had special needs. They slept in separate cribs from day one. We kept Kyla in our room in an elevated bassinette for a few months. She made me a little more nervous I wanted to hear every little peep she made. She had reflux pretty bad so she had to upright as much as possible. We did not get much sleep as you can imagine. Not necessarily because they were awake, but more because I was terrified. After about a month I felt a lot safer, and they were doing a lot better. They put on some weight and Kyla’s coloring went from a deep grayish-yellow to a not so deep grayish-yellow. Once we established a schedule life was a lot easier. They caught right on, and it has saved my sanity (whatever sanity I have). They were great babies from the start. They still do not cry unless they are hungry or tired, but since I do have a schedule I can normally catch it before it even gets to that point. A lot of people around them say they never see them cry. Believe me, they do; just not that often. I have found with them that if you go 10 minutes past when they are used to eating or sleeping, it will be hell. If you do it 5 minutes early or on time, it is as smooth as butter and they are happy as clams. They are very predictable, and I feel as a mother I can read them pretty well. People ask us all the time how we do it. My only reply is “we just do.” Dad helps out a TON!! He has been so amazing through this, and has really surprised me. He goes to school, works full time (sometimes two jobs), and still right when he walks in the door is ready to change a poopy diaper (or whatever else is needed). I don’t know how he is so great, but I could not have asked for a better father for my children.
They love to give kisses. It is a full-on French kiss. Mouth wide open and tongue out. Even though you get drenched, they are so irresistible. It is the cutest thing to watch them give each other kisses. It is so funny!! They love it and start cracking up. ADORABLE!!

THE FIRSTS

• The first time they slept through the night: Mya was 4 months, and Kyla 5 months. My definition of sleeping through the night is when we did not have to feed them. Yes, we still have to get up every once in a while and stick in a binky. We consider this a “good” night.
• Rolled over: Both around 6 months
• Sat up by themselves: Both around 8 months
• Crawled: Mya was 9 months and Kyla 10 months
• Ate baby food: 7 months
• Ate real food: 11 months (soft of course)



• Babbled/talked: Started babbling around 2-3 months. Now they can say things like “mama, dada, baba” but I don’t think they know what they mean.
• First tooth: Two little bottom teeth around 10 months



• First Laugh: 3 months
• First pull-up: Mya: 10 ½ months Kyla: 3 days ago!!
• First Cupcake: Had first taste of cupcake at today’s photo shoot. Kyla was a little unsure, and Mya tried to stick the whole thing in her mouth. Hopefully I will have pictures soon. It was hilarious and SOO messy.


So this is kind of the last year “in a nutshell”. I cannot believe that this time has passed so quickly. It makes me cry every time I think about it. I am so excited for their first birthday!! Don’t worry; there will be a WHOLE new blog about that, pictures included. Their party theme is “Thing 1 and Thing 2” just to give you an idea. Hope you made it through this. If you want to add anything please do.

Hospital Days

So I am going to play catch up for while, so bare with me. The girls were born April 15, 2009. It was a really hard pregnancy. Morning sickness which was more like all day sickness and was put on bed rest (with potty privileges). I went into labor when I was only 28 weeks along and spent the remaining 4 weeks in the hospital. I was the nurses worst patient because Kyla would not cooperate. She was a fireball, and still is. They could not keep her on the monitor, and when they finally would catch her I was terrified to move a muscle. This was very uncomfortable and made it very frustrating. I thought those days were the worst ever, but looking back on it now I miss it. I never thought I would say that when I was going through it, I wanted them out of me! But staying in an uncomfortable hospital bed, eating horrible food, and having monitors strapped to my belly 24/7 were amazing memories.
APRIL 15
When the doctors told me I was running a fever and we had to take the girls out by C-Section I was horrified. I remember crying and shaking a lot. Something about a giant white room, being strapped down, and a sheet in front you is not the most comforting scenario. Everything went great, the girls were immediately brought to the NICU, and Kyla was then transferred over to Primary's Children Hospital. Mya weighed 4 lbs 6 oz and little Kyla weighed 2 lbs 12 oz. Mya did awesome and came home 4 weeks later. Kyla had surgery the day before Mya came home (everything went great) and then came home 4 weeks after that. Having them home was the scariest thing ever! At the hospital they have all sorts of monitors and alarms if anything went wrong, at home you have nothing. They were both still so small and fragile. I swear I remember lifting up Kyla's shirt every minute just to make sure she was still breathing. It was the scariest couple of weeks of my life. They survived, and are doing great now.